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If you could redo life, what would you do differently?

I've been thinking a lot about decisions, how one small choice can change the entire direction of your life or career.

Sometimes it's a job we didn't take, a subject we didn't study, a passion we pushed aside, or even a person we stopped having a relationship with.

Not asking for regrets, just real moments of reflection.

career teaching higher-education teacher life future professional friends professors decision-making decisions reflection moment
Thank you comment icon Thank you to everyone who responded. I didn’t expect such heartfelt and honest reflections, I have learned so much from all your stories. It reminds me that even those with solid careers and full lives have gone through uncertainty, second-guessing, and growth along the way. Robiah Thabit
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D'Mauri’s Answer

I try not to dwell on the past too much, but I do wish some things had gone differently. I feel like my life and career are just starting, but there are a few things I would change. For example, I wish I had chosen a different college. It would have saved me both time and money. Although everything turned out fine in the end, I would still change that experience if I could. Another thing I would do differently is prepare a better plan for a Google internship competition. My thesis wasn’t as strong as others, and I could have done better. Lastly, I would change how I handled opportunities. I turned down some offers for my current career, but exploring those options might have been beneficial.
Thank you comment icon Thank you sharing, D'Mauri. Robiah Thabit
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Clara’s Answer

I've learned something over the years that I want to share. It might sound like a cliché, but clichés often hold a lot of truth.

In your life and career, things won't always go as planned. Mistakes happen, chances might pass by, or things might not work out as you hoped. It's normal to feel regret, but try not to focus on it too long. Instead, take those lemons life gives you and make lemonade.

Learn from every experience, especially the tough ones. Each setback is a chance to grow, find new solutions, and build strength. Once you learn from these experiences, move forward with more knowledge and confidence.

The key is not to avoid mistakes but to use them to reach success. Keep this in mind as you grow, and turning lemons into lemonade will become easy.
Thank you comment icon Thank you for taking the time to help. Ana
Thank you comment icon Thank you for sharing, Clara. Robiah Thabit
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Cliff’s Answer

Robiah,
It is interesting that you are thinking about this. I've actually thought a lot about this myself.
I wasn't sure what I wanted to go to school for, so I chose electrical engineering since my brother was a mechanical engineer and I worked with my brother-in-law who was an electrician.
When I graduated from college, I had choices to work for 3 different companies in 3 different states. I chose one - that was a very good choice since I'm still there and still working 43 years later. That led me to discover my passion, which was management and not designing circuits as an electrical engineer.
I met my wife while living in the town where my job is. She was a great choice and we're still together after 36 years. We have 2 great kids - a boy (doctor) and a girl (works at a PT clinic) - not sure why they chose medical over technical but it's their life.
I've thought a lot about when I started out in high school deciding what I wanted to be. It led me to my current situation, and I've had a wonderful life (not without its issues, to be sure).
I've come to this conclusion: You need to always try to make what you think is the best decision you can at the time with the information you have. It may not be right/perfect, and please don't go into an analysis/paralysis doom loop; Rather if you feel you need to correct - do it as soon as you can with as little breakage as possible. Your life will be made up of a series of choices, the later ones will build on the previous ones.
Do your best, have a positive attitude, and forgive yourself for mistakes along the way.
I'm working longer than most of my friends (many have retired) and I don't care. I'm charting my own course. In the larger scheme of things, I have no major regrets.
Now go arm yourself with information (from wherever you can find it), make good choices, and have a wonderful life. We're all rooting for you!
Thank you comment icon Thank you for sharing, Cliff. Robiah Thabit
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Danilo’s Answer

Great question! Learning from others is always valuable.

For me, it was about getting the chance to join an automation company and eventually take it over in my 30s. Why didn't I go for it? I couldn't picture myself as someone in their 30s, let alone as a parent or spouse.

Even if you don't see yourself as a parent or partner, think about the freedom that comes with owning your own company. By the time you're 30, you have more stability and the potential for smarter wiser choices, and then having money to back it up...that would be fun!
Thank you comment icon Ok. That's nice Professor ~Yael
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Michelle’s Answer

Hi, Robiah !

Advisor Kim has truly motivated and inspired me to answer this. One thing I would have done is to have found a way to go to boarding school, one nearby, so that I could have a Prime of Miss Jean Brody kind of schooling experience.

In elementary school, I would have been more focused on acting and prompt my teachers to allow me and classmates to actually do frequent plays.

As a child and teen, I would be more assertive and self-advocating and not let people get away with bad behavior.

I would have learned American Sign Language at a very young age and find a way to use it everyday.

I would have put my foot down and demanded that my parents pay for English Riding and Dressage lessons once I was 10 years old.

As a tween and teen I would have forced myself to be more discriminating of the circle of friends. But even hanging around the "wrong" kids can teach us life lessons.

In high school starting in 9th grade I would have made a huge presence of myself in the Theater Group and be in plays in High School before college.
Thank you comment icon Thank you for sharing, Michelle. Robiah Thabit
Thank you comment icon You're welcome ! Michelle M.
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🪴 Christina’s Answer

Absolutely—those small choices really can shape everything. It’s wild how a single decision, even one that seemed minor at the time, can open up new paths or close old ones. I’ve had moments where following a gut feeling or making a tiny pivot led to unexpected growth or connections.
It’s not about regret, just noticing how those choices add up and make us who we are. Is there a decision you’ve made that, looking back, changed your direction in a surprising way?

If you’d like a supportive space to reflect, connect, and share your journey, you’re always welcome in my free Skool JobSeeker Hub: https://www.skool.com/neo-hr-job-seekers-hub-1687/about?ref=fccacfa053b645c08c7ed1e4d9247f03
Thank you comment icon Thank you for sharing, Christina. Robiah Thabit
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Charnelle’s Answer

Hello Christina,

Thank you for your question! If I were to do life over again I would have went overseas for my athletic career. I also probably would never had entertained a certain type of drug. Lastly and most importantly I would take a stronger chance on love. But everything happens for a reason so I really have no regrets. I hope you find this useful in your journey through life.

Sincerely,
CSL
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Jerome’s Answer

I think the choices we make define who we are and at this point of my life I really appreciate how all of the trials, good and bad have shaped me.

I do wish I would have been more patient when I was young. I was very focused on what I was owed and what I thought I deserved, that I didn’t take the time to just put my head down and do the work. Once I realized that my actions would speak louder than my words, things really started to click.
Thank you comment icon Thank you for sharing, Jerome. Robiah Thabit
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Toni’s Answer

I definitely would have listened to my mom telling me that going to school was my best bet and not messing up!! I often wish I would have listened and not want to figure it all out on my own making bad choices. Life is what you make it but if you can take some good advise to help you out along the way, do so!
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Patrick’s Answer

Robiah, honestly, I wouldn’t change much about how I grew up. I left home at 14 because of difficult circumstances, and life wasn’t easy after that. If there’s one thing I wish had been different, it’s that I had someone to guide me. Someone to help me make the right decisions when I was young. But those challenges shaped who I am today. I grew up in deep poverty, sharing a two-bedroom apartment with my 10 siblings. Despite our struggles, my mother always emphasized the importance of education. She believed, and made sure we understood, that without education, we would have limited options in life.

That belief became my focus. I set out to learn as much as I could because I saw education as my way out. Many people in my neighborhood didn’t have opportunities or someone like my mother encouraging them, and I often wish they had. Along the way, I made small choices, simple actions that eventually led to major turning points. I've always valued learning, and I continue to seek knowledge, not just for myself, but to help others grow, too.

One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is that you have to distance yourself from people who don’t support or uplift you. It may sound harsh, but when you start doing that, you begin to see real progress. My upbringing gave me a strong foundation of values and a deep drive to serve others and that’s something I carry with me every day.
Thank you comment icon Thank you for sharing, Patrick. Robiah Thabit
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James Constantine’s Answer

Good Day Robiah!

The high cholesterol hardening of arteries that killed Greek relatives. So, I chased medicine! I had a high enough Tertiary Entrance score. he dean of medicine would not accept me because I had no senior school chemistry!

I did biological chemistry! That was because my deceased uncle's old boss, a professor of biochemistry started lecturing at our university.

WHAT WOULD I ALTER?
I would change my birthdate to 1952, five years earlier. Do the same sort of study to become a dietitian-nutritionist. Interfere with the genetic disease familial hypercholesterolemia which killed the Greek side of my family.

I would reverse the coronary atherosclerosis that was my uncle's demise at 38 years of age and my father's at 50 years of age. I would have completed my studies by 1974. Both Greek male relatives had serum cholesterols between 10 and 17 millimoles per liter of blood. [Three to six times too high!]

NON-COMPLIANCE
Anyway, would they have complied with a low-saturated-fat diet? I really do not think so! They were both restaurant buffs, members of a Beef Steak And Burgundy club! Members of this club consumed massive amounts of saturated animal fat, which raises cholesterol to dangerous levels. I would not even try to change the status quo. It is what it is for a reason - reticence to change. Who am I to desire an alternative to God's plan?

JCF
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Steve’s Answer

That is an interesting question and I applaud you for being so open to dig into a topic like that! I am not one that normally looks backward and every once in a while I force myself to look back at how far I have come and how much I have accomplished because it is easy to get sucked into only looking at the task list of things that are undone. Like you I don't do it out of longing for those days or regret but more so for context and understanding accomplishments and next steps. I am very happy with my life, my family, my career, my accomplishments, etc. but there are always things I could have done better. That being said there are 2 things I think I would change:

1. I would understand that nothing is permanent and everything changes. Sometimes that can be scary, sometimes that can be liberating but in the end that is reality. You were talking about choices, my first degree is in Accounting and Specialized Management and I was a Junior Comptroller for an industrial ceramics firm with a bright future and I hated it. Fortunately I got some good advice and moved into technology. I have been in IT now for almost 4 decades in various roles: development, infrastructure, project management, management, etc. still open to change but doing something I enjoy. (and let me be the first to say my degree and what I learned in school wasn't wasted. much of what I learned I apply and it gives me a leg up on other technologists at times and in the end my first degree helped me learn to learn and since I have received 2 more IT degrees as well as certifications in technology, project management and management).

2. The second is I would realize at a much earlier age how important the social aspect of business (any professional or even non-professional pursuit). When I was younger I thought I am pretty smart and I work hard I can accomplish anything, and for the most part I could. What took me time to realize was understanding how to work with others, and foster those relationships allowed me to be far more productive not to mention happy and connected. Your generation is much better at this than mine I think and I learned a lot of there lessons watching my kids and kids I worked with on sports teams or in youth groups. They taught me the things that should be second nature: treat people with respect, be nice to everyone whether they deserve it or not, take time to be good to people and give them what they need: a shoulder, a friend, and ear, a kick. I used to think the "soft" skills were just that soft but come to learn that the relationships I build and fostered are the reason I am as successful (and far more happy) that I would have been doing things on my own.

I hope this helps and I am sure you will find the answers you are looking for but with every answer always comes more questions. One of the many miracles in life.
Thank you comment icon Thank you for sharing, Steve. Robiah Thabit
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Kim’s Answer

Robiah,

I tend not to dwell on the past, as it cannot be undone. But, in the interest of providing guidance, here are those answers.

1. I would have taken an academically challenging course load in High School, rather than rushing to graduate at the first available opportunity. I definitely would have taken World History instead of World Geography, would have taken Chemistry, and Calculus.
2. I would have gotten involved in activities in high school, perhaps the student newspaper.
3. I would have gone away to college, rather than make excuses to stay close to home (my brother was terminally ill). It would have helped me to be more socially mature.
4. When I totally screwed up while working an internship at a city newspaper, I would have learned from my mistakes rather than quit the internship.
5. I would have majored in something that gave me a marketable skillset (accounting?), rather than something easy (Sociology)
6. ****to the extent possible, I would have written all my term papers on a different aspect of the same subject, so that by the time I graduated, I would have had a book!
7. I would have taken the Moot Court class, which, was by invitation only, rather than talk myself out of it
8. I would not have rushed into marriage.
9. I would have gotten divorced sooner.
10. I would have spent more time with my Dad.
11. And perhaps, just perhaps, I would have run away from home while in HS and gone off to join the carnival with that cute guy. . . What a totally different life THAT would have been!

Feel free to ask questions if you want more info!
Thank you comment icon Jiminy Crickets, my friend - I love # 6 and # 11 ! ! Wow ! You have inspired me to participate in this question :) Michelle M.
Thank you comment icon Clearly, Michelle, you should have been given English Riding and Dressage lessons! Guess those horses don't do barrel racing? Thanks for your answers! Kim Igleheart
Thank you comment icon Thank you for sharing, Kim Robiah Thabit
Thank you comment icon You're welcome! We learn from our mistakes. The worst one is to do nothing, for fear of failure. You can ALWAYS get back up when you fall down. Best of luck to you!! Kim Igleheart
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rebecca’s Answer

I probably wouldn't be where I am today, every mistake happens for a reason lesson learned, but I wouldn't go to a huge expensive college unless I really knew exactly what I wanted to do in life. THIS advice is not for everyone by the way. I also would spend a lot more time creating a positive relationship with money. Learning how to budget. Unplugging, taking care of my physical health, so that my mental health is well. Physical health leads to good mental health which turns into a better performance at your passion. Spend time with kids when they are young. Spend time with family. Do things that you're afraid to do. You always have room to grow.
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Nathan’s Answer

this is good
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Don’s Answer

Hello Robiah,

This is a very interesting question! I am still a young guy being 22 years old right now but would say that I wish I was more proactive when it came to certain aspects of my life. Stuff like I wish I could have done better when it comes to high school or some subjects when it comes to my college. I don't really regret much but sometimes I do wonder how much different or how similar my life would be by some of the decisions I made. I think everything happens for a reason and i'm where I need to be in life. I hope to keep progressing and hopefully I will be in positions to help others in the future. Thank you for your question!
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